Vivian Demuth reads from “How Big a Character is ‘Xin’” by Hu Shigen at the 2009 Human Rights Book Fair.

Hu Shigen is a university lecturer, political activist and dissident writer. Hu was a founding member of the China Freedom and Democracy Party and China Free Trade Union, and campaigned for government accountability for the violent suppression of the Democracy Movement in June 1989. He was arrested September 27, 1992 and charged with “counterrevolutionary crimes” for planning June Fourth memorial activities in many of China’s cities. He received a heavy sentence of 20 years’ imprisonment and subsequent deprivation of political rights for five years. After serving sixteen years of his twenty-year sentence—during which time he suffered serious health problems and was reportedly tortured—Hu was released in August 2008.  Hu wrote “How Big a Character Is ‘Xin’” in prison at the end of 1995 or the beginning of 1996.

“How Big a Character is ‘Xin’”
Translated by Zhang Yu

Between heaven and earth, the flakes of snow are fluttering and dancing, as if writing a letter … Oh! How big a letter! How big a book!

When I was teaching foreigners Chinese at the university, I was often amazed by the questions from the foreign students. Take the Chinese word “Xin.” It is so simple a Chinese character, but still, it once almost proved too much for me.

It was after a lecture. An American student asked me, “Teacher, what does ‘Xin’ mean?

I shot a look at “Xin,” and answered with a easy smile:

“It’s just your word ‘letter’ in English. The left side is a person, and the right side is the character ‘speak,’ so combined it means ‘a person speaks.’ Writing a letter, of course, is speaking with a pen on paper.”

“Have you ever written a letter?” I added as a joke, making a gesture of writing.

The foreign student blinked and pulled out a letter, “Like this?”

“Yes, exactly!”

“Is there another meaning?”

“Certainly: it’s the verb ‘believe.’ For instance, I don't believe that. This ‘Xin’ has the sense of be convinced, trust. But if a Beijing native says, ‘yeah, I really Xin you!’ it’s probably irony. Don’t listen to what he says, because in his heart he probably means, ‘There’s no way I believe what you’re saying!’”

I was feeling very self-satisfied, and was just about to go home.

“Any more meanings?” asked the foreign student, not giving up the chase.

“There are also …” My throat constricted a little. I wanted to scratch my head, but felt that might harm the dignity of a teacher. I wanted to say that we would chat another day. But I braced myself, hesitating for a while.

“There are also...well, of course, ‘belief’ and ‘faith.’ For instance, you may ‘Xin’ Jesus, or Allah, or Buddha. You can also ‘Xin’ a kind of theory or proposition. You can ‘Xin’ Marx's communism, or Sutter’s existentialism, though in that sense it would be better translated ‘conviction.’ And then there’s ‘Xin Xin,’ which means a person has the confidence to accomplish something. For instance, you have ‘Xin Xin’ to learn Chinese.

“I do! Look …”

The foreign student pulled out that letter again. It was similar to a Chinese person’s “written pledge,” put down stroke by stroke in six characters:

“I …can …learn …Chinese …well.”

Well! That was his interpretation of “Xin.” He really was self-confident! Wonderful!

I was just about to encourage him with a few words and say goodbye. I didn’t expect he’d open his mouth again:

“Are there more?”

“Of course there are more!” His “Xin” acted on me like a stimulant. I grew enthusiastic and said:

“There are at least four more. One is in the sense of ‘signal’ and ‘information;’ another is in the sense of a creed; the third trustworthiness, credit – both of course related to trust; and last, as it’s used in the phrases ‘wag one’s tongue too freely,’ ‘pick up something easily and casually,’ ‘walk aimlessly,’ ‘write at will’ – all of which mean roughly ‘do as you like.’”

The foreign student was delighted. “I knew there was something to this ‘Xin!’”

Recalling this little scene, I remember the student’s loveliness and my awkwardness. It reminds me that the ocean of knowledge is so vast, and the unknown world is a book that requires careful reading. Even for the character ‘Xin,’ there are actually still many more meanings to explore.

Sitting in my cell contemplating ‘Xin,’ I fell into a dream. Many many students mailed me many many letters from all over the world, and they poured in on me like snowflakes. I hurried to open them but couldn’t see any characters, either Chinese or foreign, on any of them. I turned the letters over and over, but nothing. I woke with a start, and went to the window.

It’s snowing heavily. Between the heaven and earth, the flakes of snow are fluttering and dancing, as if writing a letter … Oh! How big a letter! How big a book!

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